Hang in there

We all have those days where we wonder ….

What the hell is the point? What am I doing?

Remember that cat poster in school?

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Hang in there! I had that feeling yesterday. I have made a lot of big changes in my life just within the past year. It’s hard not to wonder if the decisions I have made were nothing but a huge mistake.

I look back and see that I quit a job that was stable to live a unstable life. I have returned to college after 8 years and started taking art seriously. I am a unemployed student mother of three. When I realized I could no longer afford child care I had to resort to online college. I will not let anything stop me! But I do wonder if this online college isn’t bogus. But I have pursed all this with a positive attitude.

I need to do this. I will succeed!

But I can’t help wonder from time to time if I am totally fucking my life up. I guess one would think that. We are told from a young age to know what career choice to make at the end of high school. ┬áBut what if you have no clue. What if you are in your 20s, 30s, 40s, or 50s and still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up? Many creative people are told to rethink their art careers because they will make little money. I thought we are supposed to do what we love? Who comes up with this stuff anyways?

Today I am seeing things more clearly. I will not settle until I reach my goals. My life lived so far has all happen for a reason. If I didn’t experience what I have so far than maybe I wouldn’t even be considering or thinking what I am today. Today I am grateful for all the fuck up decisions I have made and continue to make. Who knows where I will be in 5 or 10 years.

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Lillian

Screenshot (18)

Painting Lillian

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